Yeah, well I wanted to keep it under wraps for as long as possible but it might as well as be told here as well. I'm filing for divorce. I went to the court house last Friday and found out how to start the process. I started filling out the papers yesterday, printed a second set for Celso today and I will give/mail those to him.

He moved out last night, taking all his clothes so it isn't a short term thing this time. This is it, the last time, it is over.

Henry, Lincoln and I were all sad last night and took turns crying. We cuddled very close all night and I woke several times to kiss them both. Lincoln woke up once crying in the middle of the night. He went back to sleep quickly but it took me 2 hours.

Lidia came over and she was sad, upset, crying too. Henrique & Bryant were at her apartment (with Celso) and she said they were crying and upset too. Henry said Daddy was crying as he packed the car with his clothes. I didn't stick around - I was walking around the neighborhood with Lincoln. Henry cried when Daddy pulled out of the drive and Lincoln asked “Why Daddy left?”

I'm missing Cindy a lot these days, thinking of her everyday here recently. Guess cause of all the stress and crap I'm going through and wish I had her to talk to. I have made a couple other friends that I do pick up the phone and call when needed or they are just a quick IM away. I wish I could just call Cindy and apologize and we could move on but there is nothing to apologize for. We didn't have a fight that requires an apology. We just don't agree on how to raise our kids and it came down to something Cindy feels so strongly about she had to end our 17 year friendship.

Baseball is coming to a close quickly. We had a game last night, one Saturday and our last one next Tuesday. There may be a make-up game in there but it hasn't been scheduled yet and looks like it might not happen. We'll have our end-of-the-season pizza party next Tuesday after the game or on Wednesday - that is still up in the air too I think.
Watching Henry’s games is like watching paint dry. Boring! All the kids get to bat and they get 5 “hittable pitches” but some kids get 7 or 9 because the coach throws a wild pitch. So one inning consists of every kid getting to bat, regardless they make it to first base and with each batter they go to first base so every kid runs the base. The other team is out in the outfield making the small outfield really crowded.

How do I tell the parents of Henry’s school friends that Celso and I are getting a divorce? I think I'll wait until something is actually filed. I guess cause I’m imaging emailing(?) or telling them “I want you to know that Celso and I have filed for divorce”. Celso coaches Henry soccer team and we've already got a team signed up, paid and ready to go to start in August. How will they feel if Celso & I are not together? Will they still want their kid to play on the team? What tension will be in the air between Celso and I come August? It may be much better by then or it could be horribly worse! This is really troubling me.

If Celso & I can agree on the divorce, making it uncontested, it will cost $111. Splitting that cost with Celso is doable and reasonable. If we don’t agree we'll both need lawyers and the cost, time and emotional turmoil will go through the roof! If I qualify for financial assistance then my lawyer would cost would be about $680 or so if I recall correctly. An uncontested divorce of course sounds much better all the way around.