So this is what just went through my head and how my mind works/travels - try to follow along. So I'm rather uncomfortable today physically. I shaved my bikini area this weekend and guess my razor was shot cause I'm dealing with a horrible case of razor rash/bumps whatever you call it. So I'm thinking how nice (and clean!) a nice waxing would be - there and my arm pits both. Had it done before and it is nice afterwards. Then my mind jumps to "Stupid! Think! You can't afford that! If you spent the money on that then you would come up short for food, gas or something else!" So I'm actually getting mad at myself for even thinking about doing that for myself.Then my mind turns to thinking about stuff I still buy that aren't really NEEDS anyway. Like today, I bought real juice cooler instead of the CapriSun with sugar and high fructose corn syrup added. I like to freeze them and put them in Henry's lunch. They were $1.17 more than the others. I feel guilty. I also pop-tarts and NutriGrain bars for myself for breakfast at work. I don't need those! That was $5 spent that I didn't have to spend.That $5 could have gone to bills, to my church, to a local charity or a global one. Thinking about this is making me insane! I can be "good" and not "splurge" but the mood is short-lived and I go back to buying wants.I bought a twin air mattress this weekend for camping. That is a 100% WANT!! If I hadn't already freaking blown it up, put sheets on it and let Henry sleep on it already, I'd take it back. I feel guilty for such a stupid purchase. I've been sleeping on the ground when camping, why did I buy the air mattress?But think about this, even if I had enough money to buy an air mattress without giving it a second thought, had enough money that I didn't have to stress about such a purchase, would I feel guilty for not giving that money to a worthy organization? Where is the line? How can I know, tell what to buy for myself and not giving said money to a starving person? a poor person in Kansas City that needs health care or clothing? Where is the line? I'm stressed out now.